Dude. Fucked her last night. Fucked her this morning. went downstairs for water. took 18 pack of Coors Light instead and took it back to my gf's. Got a blow job from her. Drinking the beer on my deck now. Best Day ever.
I need to stop researching the drugs I do on Wikipedia. The parts about abuse and dependency hit too close to home
the last girl i hooked up with and the last guy i hooked up with are hooking up right now. this is where bisexuality becomes a problem.
Um yeah. I just puked. And found your contact.
He ripped off his socks and ran around the basement barefoot. His feet turned black. Then he chugged Parmesan cheese. He chugged dry cheese dude.
So I totally just used margarita salt for a body scrub.
What the hell do you have that is more important than a GIANT WATER SLIDE?
Also, my phone suggested the phrase “puke in the mailbox" how many times have I had the need to text that to people?
I'm spending tomorrow doing taxes and making jello shots. Is this adulthood?
We can talk about your dick in my throat after a decision is made, this is my hair we're talking about. .. shit's important.
You thanked me for a delicious cock and tacos...
i don't think i have enough personality to make it through this date sober.
I just watched videos of people getting puppies and crying, I cried too. Definitely still drunk
I don't just want drugs. I deserve drugs.
So nothing to worry about, but i'm probly going to jail soon, just thought i should let you know so you didn't worry. Bye!
Randomize
