I want to punch and suck your dick at the same time. I don't think we have the healthiest of relationships.
I do have sympathy for you. It's just not going to manifest as a blow job.
What's the protocol when you drive the girl's head into the wall during sex and she starts to cry?
make sure nobody uses the downstairs toilet. i like to have an unused toilet for the weekends. dont shit where you puke i always say.
Well you just missed the ten chi o pledges singing la bamba at our doorstep.
It was one of those nights where you get back from the bar and end up staying up till 3AM beating off to facebook photos of girls from college
I hat to flip my "days since last bad decision" chart back to zero. So...yeah. Sigh.
On the upside I'm hairless from the waist down. On the downside, I just chemically burned my labia
Didn't think the day of being the oldest in a club would be when I'm twenty one. Even the bouncer looked surprised when he ID me.
So red wine goes with eggs, right? Because that's all I have in the house to cook and the drinking options are either wine or scotch
You didn't throw up on me, you threw up on yourself and then tried to give me a hug
We just FaceTimed and I put an Oreo in my vagina for him. Now he has to fly across the globe for me.
Dont ask questions just say words. where can i find plan b?
Why are there 17 orders of shrimp lo mein in the bathtub?
and then she asked if she could shave my junk
and howd that go?
can you pick me up from the hospital?
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