i feel like when youre not in my profile picture no one knows who i am.
Apparently Sundays are the worst days for your friends to get their head split open and need stitches...there's only 1 doctor on duty
How did you even find out?
Because you came up to me and said "I just fucked in the bathroom."
Oh.
Now I'm at the gym and I never want to leave. It's a combo of adderall and endorphins and I don't want it to go away
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My stomach literally has no contents left. Tequila cleanse=success.
I have effectively turned laundry day into a drinking game.
oh and speaking of men I've slept with. Ryan lost 1/3 of a testicle zip lining
We had half a pitcher of beer left and he asked us if we wanted a to-go cup. Fuck yeah we want it to-go.
Says the girl who left her friends to go have phone sex in the bathroom at Michael's
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I tried eating pop-rocks while giving him a bj, I honestly think I was more disappointed with the results than he was.
Meh, all I have to do tomorrow is proctor an AP test. No loud noises and no physical activity allowed for almost 4 hours. Sounds like the perfect recovery period for a hangover.
he's really high and upset. he just found out alice from the brady bunch died
We drunkenly made out once four years ago and then he immediately vomited and honestly I've never gotten over him
My roommate made maccoroni last nigh dropped the bowl off the counter knocking it into the dog bowl he picked up the dog bowl and started eating it claiming it was te worst Mac and cheese ever and if he wasnt so high he would stop eating it hahahaha
You went on the date? His pickup line was I swear I'm not a serial killer and you went on the date???
Randomize