I'm going to use my one free fuck up card tonight.
What'd you do?
Its more like what im about to do.
Do u kno any dealers?
I've officially lost all respect for you, dad.
Discovered the coffee filter hasn't been changed in a while. I believe the mold has hypnotic properties. Would try it again, but coffee vomit is not pleasant.
Either these are mashed potatoes in my pants, or I was drunker than I thought.
My mom wanted me and my brother to have some bonding time before I left for school. Our bonding time consisted of us smokin a few bowls then goin to Red Robin to cure the munchies. Ooo how I love family time :)
Using his name makes it all too personal. I refuse to get attached to this one. This is all about ass. He doesn't get a name.
Apparently I was pointing at birds and yelling "YOU USED TO BE A DINOSAUR!!!"
Fucking finally I'm about to die from sobriety over here
Went to the wedding reception, and he left with ALL of the brides maids phone numbers. I don't know how he does it either.
Yeah then she waddled like a duck in silence sat down and ate the entire paper towel roll.
I don't know if trying Molly for the first time before my flight was an awesome or aweful idea
i just teared up watching channing tatum in drag emerge from the fog on lip sync battle. it's gotta be PMS. either that or something is realllllly wrong with me.
Straight up last night my mom was like josh you need to find a job that doesn't include the selling or transporting of drugs
You barfed off the front porch while the elderly neighbors were walking their dog. We had to convince them not to call 911.
Pics or it didn't happen.
Not going to lie, when I looked in the tub I expected to see what might have been remnants of a squirrel.
Randomize
