Just taught my suite how to queef. I feel like i'm back in 9th grade!
I told her the white crusty stuff on my boxers was frosting not cum. She seemed MORE grossed out then
I love you. And by the way. I found out a way for you to train your gag reflex. Elliot taught us in math.
So you know that marine I slept with, well his girlfriend just told me I was pretty, I almost feel bad for sleeping with him now...
Dont! You were just serving you country
I just sneezed cum. He better have a damn good day at work.
Uhg.. This isn't fair. I just want to have sex with you until i lose consciousness, wake up and start over... is that so much to ask?
I think we should get high on adderall and nair each other again for New years.
I'm sorry, but the "Hobbit Slam" has to be a sex move.
He came in two seconds and stole my pizza so I'm not counting it.
premonition: im going to wake up covered in mashed potatoes
HE CHOSE A RESTAURANT AND MADE A FUCKING RESERVATION. I AM SHOOK
Where you been?
Please tell me this is a booty call
I'm too depressed to drink my wine. That is what I would call a serious problem
Stacy lit a fart and burn half of the couch down before we can put the Flames out. Bring your truck.
Ahhh, beer. My second favorite breakfast drink.
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