Yes, I am watching The Hills Have Thighs. And yes it is a porno remake of The Hills Have Eyes. And, again, yes, lesbian sex in the desert. Get the sand out.
NExt question... Do i wanna sleep under my palm tree
YES.
I just found a babydoll head in my sink where we ripped it off and did shots out of it.
You kept making up "snapple facts" every time you opened a beer.
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I hope making "real" money at your "real" job is worth it because you totally missed beer and dorrito mac n cheese tuesday.
Just remembered seeing jalepenos in my vomit last night. Reminded me to thank you for sharing your queso with me. You're a good friend.
I just wanna lay in my bed all bundled up as have someone feed me lettuce
If i want her back i know all i have to do is sleep with a specific handful of her closest friends. That method is tried and true.
It's 2pm, and I just had to pass a guy in the turning lane because he was driving down Main Street in an electric wheelchair pulling a flatbed trailer with 2 of his buddies in it and they were all drunk holding beers.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He said he cried as he watched porn yesterday; I'd say he's taking the break-up pretty bad....
The NSA quit spying on phones. I'm sending you SO MANY dick pics.
Sorry this is the worst night of your life and that you're being a baby about it.
Just got a handjob in the hospital
A new low.
I feel like I'm a car that keeps getting Bacardi 151 instead of fuel
Video on mandys page of you drinking upside down was finally put up...too bad all the comments were about me and him fighting in the background while he screamed "BLOW BIG BETSY!'
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