I definitely ripped a mole off of her back in the process
I just tried to put my feet in my slippers and found cans of beer in them. Christmas in fucking july.
what day is it and did you see me today?
Just saw a cop issuing a DUI. At 3 pm. It's definitely the start of winter break.
I can handle NPR. I speak hippie. I took it in college.
well isn't that the pot calling the kettle a make out whore
just found out this city drinks more beer during oktoberfest than rhode island does in a year.. i'm never leaving
Im in a bar and I just invented a scrabble drinking game. People are cheering. It's like the universe has aligned itself.
Bank of America: Available balance is $546.25 on 03/04/2011 for account 8428. Go online for details. TextSTOPtoStop/TextHELPforHelp
i loe djcudia fjxos rue.
I just met the neighbor hes a self proclaimed coke dealer/ softporn producer.
The yard is growling at me WHAT DID U GIVE ME?
I deserve a fucking award for best roommate. I just cleaned his room, so he can have a 3 some
I like being woken up by phone calls of you sabotaging marriages
So she said she could really go for a cheeseburger and I remembered I had one in my pocket. No idea where it came from.
It’s amazing such a big dick belongs to such a boring guy
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