Letd wlk him
Lrtd walek hime
Lets wlk home,,,ther we go
he sat in the bathtub shirtless yelling in gibberish for 40 minutes. funniest. stoner. ever.
My vagina hasn't been this smooth since I was 8. I better get laid tonight.
He talked me into making a sex video, no worries though, I was wearing sunglasses.
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Worst case scenario: I have VD and will die. That's the worst that could happen. As long as I'm around long enough to see the winner of bachelor pad, I'm cool
My bruised ribs were so worth that win in beer pong
I woke up with a piece of pizza duct taped too my hand and a paragraph written on my chest. Good night is say
Just to prove a point, she called and ordered a pizza 10 min before she ordered the blow and it still got here first. I may never leave LA.
I told you!!! And that is why he's the drug dealer to the stars.
A horseman, i repeat, a man on a horse downtown just told me i was gorgeous and my friends were not. Not drunk enough.
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We were Chugging coronas for the soul purpose of launching limes out of the 3rd story window, I'd say it was a good weekend
It was like coming out my mothers vagina again in slow motion
Is it possible to sluttify a hobbit costume? Cause if so, this will be my biggest accomplishment.
I made a White Russian but saw how early it was and decided to substitute it for milk in my lucky charms. This is what it means to be an adult.
I've never seen anyone as high as you were.. you collapsed onto the kitchen floor hugging a tub of ice cream. You named it phil.
I was totes going to lose it to him last night, but I cried and we ate mexican food instead.
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