Flying to Orlando on the 7th is cheaper than the 8th by like three margaritas.
We walked into the bar in The Flying V formation from The Mighty Ducks. We were ready.
I just opened a bunch of old flavored condoms just to see what they tasted like.
He had a huge mole on his dick. Genetics has cockblocked him for life.
I had forgotten what it was like to go to all four classes. It's exhausting.
both the worst and best vomit ever... it was extra chunky and thick cause of the sausage... but it also tasted like delicious sausage... also cause of the sausage
We're too lazy too send a pic of out balls. Just assume this is a pic of our balls and respond accordingly.
DDing is such a bittersweet job, just got the entire history of this girls hookup career
If you fuck her, Im going to call you and I want you to cough 2 times.
So. She dumped me today.
Well, maybe you shouldn't have referred to going down on her as "Dumpster-Diving".
You guys can't keep having sex with them and cleaning their house! They're never going to take you seriously!
that's like... drinking popov and saying its the worlds best vodka. you gotta try some others first. THERE SHOULD BE A MISS AMERICA PAGEANT. but like, mr penis. and they can do tricks and make unintelligent remarks and wear sparkly condoms.
Is 1:30 too early for the bar?
Do you want my opinion or society's?
I want your company
And he came by and picked me up. We cuddled in his car then had sex until... an officer doing his rounds put a spotlight on crazy haired, naked me straddling him.
Like he was inside me when I made eye contact with a police man.
its like i get a dick upgrade with every new guy i screw, at this rate i'm scared to see my next one
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