Hurry up I might actually study if I am left alone
We had a long talk in which he told me he respects me more than any other girl. 30 minutes later, I got a facial.
I need input, can I pre-game my cat scan?
The polaroid of me taking a test-tube of Jegar out of the gay guys mouth pretty much explains my trip to Spain.
dude there's no way we're going back in there for your puke shoes
Had to belly crawl across the floor to the toilet with my eyes closed to puke my life out without making my hangover worse. Three times.
All I saw was a purple blob and poking out from under was part of a green shirt. Took me a minute to realize it was him under that beast.Thought I should ask if he was actually breathing and conscience but then I saw him slowly exploring what few brave men have done before.
I'm doing shots of jagger in dixi cups and making a lesson plan for my 8th grader summer school class. My life is so close to adulthood I can taste it
Men are not even allowed to look at you without a condom on.
found a better reason to procrastinate than the usual sunday-don't-give-no-fucks. literally every one of my textbooks is soaked in captain. can't turn a page without gagging.
I walk in and my mom has a Christian workout program playing. It's like, gospel music with an "electronic" beat to go with it. And then they try to save your soul at the end. I hate being home.
Just heard a girl ask "Wait you're not my boyfriend?!" to a guy wearing the Mickey to her Minnie Mouse on my way home. Made me feel better about myself.
I tolerate his mediocre drunk sex for the mind blowing morning sex. More than worth it.
but I truly enjoy making out with my best friend more than my boyfriend
My chance to home wreck was right in front of me and I didn’t grab it by the balls
Randomize
