OH MY GOD! I just remembered how we ended our bar time last night: picking up and drinking random drinks that ppl had left. wtf is wrong with us?! that's so ghetto!
No. You're kidding.
I am not. I wish I were. I speak the truth.
I told him I was prego. He asked coul we do it without a condom now since I cldn't get any pregnanter. What an a-hole.
I think the boy in my gender studies class cried when 90% of the girls said they had faked an orgasm
I just sneezed and had an orgasam..THAT turned on
So we are lighting beer bottles on fire and breaking them in half to make glasses
That sounds dangerous
Don't worry......were wearing oven mits.
She narrowed it down to 7 guys that could have gotten her pregnant.
I just made a steamroller out of a christmas ornament. I feel so festive.
Just KTHXBAIed an old man for staring at me
Poor guy. Tried so hard to get out of the friend zone. I had to make out with someone in front of him to put him in his place.
I need a drink. No, several. I need several drinks. Drunk, I need to be drunk. Definitely need to be drunk
holy shit I was not prepared for her to whip out that dildo
It's always appealing to be able to say to someone "I banged your mom"
Fuck my life... Im so horny Im gonna take it out on this sandwich
Sorry I drunk. I wouldn’t eat those pancakes. I think I put glitter in them.
So I lost my dignity between the strip club and your penis...
Randomize
