i have a reoccuring irrational fear i'm going to walk in on my dad masterbating. Night.
please stop telling ppl youre Alice Cullen when youre drunk
When I get home we should play "let's see how many Christmas movies we can watch before we start having sex."
He fingered me and now wants me to go get plan b because of it. WE'RE IN COLLEGE.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I have nothing to say for myself. When 2chainz comes on at the bar all bets are off.
I hate waking up Sunday morning and thinks "how many friends did I lose last night".... Normally it's between 1-5.
Hey. My eyes swollen shut and I can't find my shoes. How was your night?
There's a lady lying down on the sidewalk in front of our building smoking a cig
He tried to make small talk to hide the fact that he was struggling to unhook my bra... at least he tried right?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
he stole a smokey from the street meat vendor and put it in his pocket when she wasn't looking and now we're drinking avocado margaritas
Apparently I was drunk enough to call he police station and ask if there was a problem with me.
You ever just SEE a guy and know he's good at choking someone out?
It's 3 am.
the next morning we realized we didnt speak the same language... guess i subconsciously did learn a little german last semester. thanks study abroad.
ah the experiences a semester in Vienna can give you. Frau would enjoy knowing that even while sleeping during class you still managed to learn enough german to get laid
My mom found my empty case that I hid in my room and just said "now why don't you be a responsible underaged drinker and throw it in the recycling" and walked away. I'm in shock.
I woke up, topless, my car was parked funny so I threw on my hoodieto go fix it and found a jello shot in my pocket. where did I go last night?!
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