apparently smacking a customer in the face with his iPhone was not part of the WOW factor we learned in training...
I got "discovered a new religion high" last night
She said you were bangin on the counters of McDonalds singing "These Eyes" at 4am
his dick is like his red hair, amazing but useless
hot twin vs twin who's good in bed. why do my life choices same way unfair
If you bring me a slurpee and advil I will eat you out for like an hour.
dude you guys. You can't throw up in the recycling bin. I don't think vomit is recyclable
Update: still drunk enough to get lost in Zellers and to think my reflection was my mother. Awesome day.
On the back of that comment, I've formed a theory that as a result of my brainwashing your drunk self actually believes that beards are your calling.
I could of sworn you were praying in the strip club.
She did my hair, then ate me out. Switching teams was an awesome decision.
New life rule, no banging opera singers. I might be a little deaf now
I'm making a date with someone on Playstation Home. That's how my sex life is going right now.
He said when the pizza came I zip locked one slice and went to the couch and snuggled with it. Does that give you an idea of how my night was?
Stop letting me drink alone on saturdays. My last 2 google searches were "short legs" and "caterpillar eyebrows" ? I don't even know.
Randomize
