I can't remember if we talked about feelings. Fuck you Miller High Life.
yeh she's definitely getting a ham and plan b omelette in the morning
it's all fun and games until somebody pulls the tampon string..
I woke up this morning covered in blood and peanut butter. I am now safe from vampires with nut allergies.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
A guy just walked down the street dressed as Mickey Mouse holding a 40oz. Where the hell did you leave me?
I'm pretty sure they kept making references about gangbanging me but I was too stoned to catch on, I just sat there and stared at his kitten.
Third base with a 7ft basketball player last night. Fingers like a champ. I call him Edward Penishands.
But seriously I don't know. I haven't seen her since I gave her back her 3 blind mice stick, and she just started hitting everybody with it.
Wait are we really having an orgy on Tuesday?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I honestly didn't think living in Canada would change me, until I found myself watching hockey porn
So my family just woke up on Easter morning and shared a bowl. That's bonding😊
Ate his Chinese food and drank his beer and played with his chihuahua. All while wrapped in a towel while he was sleep.
i'm now remembering the last part of my nigght....ugh. apperently i bargained with the wendys drive up girl after they closed and got "w/e they had left" for $7
there's a giant awkward home-wrecking elephant in the room. and its name is meg.
Just had the biggest masturbatory crisis ever.
What does that mean?
Internet is down.
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