brad dismisses pussy with prejudice
why wash my dick in the morning if you're not there to suck it?
i wanna pet his head its so fluffy. were gonna open a petting zoo
okay just a general question, but if i got arrested, who here would bail me out. this is important.
She seriously spent 30 minutes trying to make balloon animals out of my limp dick...
...
Exactly.
The shit I just took was four, very distinct colors. Jager night was a success
OMFG "ASS" JUST STARTED PLAYING ON MY PHONE VIA PANDORA AS IM IN THE CAR WITH A CONGRESSMAN FUCKKKK
I spilled wine on my pillowcase and I figure it's basically my lifeblood so I'm just leaving it
Okay I'm ready to show you that my weiner still works
Too late, I'm convinced it's broken
bitch, i have a flask. i've got things under control.
god. marry me.
I was afraid I was gonna get a URI, so I peed on his front porch.
He was fingering me and I came so hard that I actually broke his wrist. We're at the ER now.
Aww his grandma died? That's sad! No mourning sex!!! That doesn't lead to good things!
They made Game of Thrones Oreos. Kill me.
27 year olds can still do oral in a car right? Or is that trashy?
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