i met a boy and i'm in lovvvvveeeeeeee and we're going to vegas and getting marrrrrriiiieeeeedddddd!
let's be honest with each other here, that's about the worst idea you've ever had. you need to walk this one off.
She made me repeat after her: "I take responsibility for what I put in my own mouth."
I'm blazed at jack in the box and my order number is 420. I wish everything in the world made this much sense.
I know...I feel like disliking her as a person on facebook
All i remember before i blacked out is you pointing to a random chick and telling me to bang her for America.
he then proceeded to tear down my curtains, wrap them around his waist, and use the rod as his "rod"... you tell me how drunk he is...
look, i dont wanna be "that girl" but if someone offers me coke in exchange for sex, i cant say no.
Try and take me seriously and don't look directly at my hair or the jizz on my pants.
It took all the strength I had tto sit at my desk and not tear off my business attire and run screaming from adulthood and flourescent lights.
Nothing quite like coming out of an alcohol induced blackout walking down Spruill Avenue carrying a silver briefcase full of IT tools you don't know where they came from. This is my life.
I thought my dog was a polar bear. I kept asking how the north pole was this time of year.
Can I come over? I respect you, but I want disrespectful things to happen
New drinking game: Drink while you Drink. I'll explain the rules when I see you, needless to say, it's not difficult. Unless you enjoy sobriety, humanity and life. Bestest.
Just sent a nude with the caption "seasons greetings from our family to yours"
I woke up wearing mittens dude
I woke up in my bathtub with the potted plant from downstairs.
checkmate.
Randomize
