____ banged a stripper...well technically she's now a hooker...
he's 25, hott, and leaving for iraq tuesday, i wanna get in as much as possible...
your life is a nick sparks novel waiting to happen
I sang again at the bar lastnight I don't think alanis morrset knew when she wrote you outta know that the drunk version was going to be go fuck yourself Josh and Chelsea. I love $2 wells.
and honestly how many chances will you get to hook up with a one armed guy?
He just grabbed my boob and justified it by saying "I just wanna feel your heart beat"
Im about to smoke a huge bowl. My penis is so happy. Who needs girls.
He told me he wished he could shrink down to a small size so he could live inside my cleavage
He somehow always manages to get me naked within 5 minutes of being together. It's like fucking witchcraft.
There were containers of weed in the piñata. How much more Colorado does it get
I don't think he understands that his kid doesn't bother me. I have a binder full of developmentally appropriate early childhood activities.
Either go for divorced men who are forty plus or stop doing this immediately. You are 23 years old. You need more wine and less baby fever
Do you know anyone else that comes home with unexplainable injuries as many nights a week as we do?
Dude why can't I remember anything after walking in from my first beer bong?
It was immediately followed by your second, third, fourth and fifth
I may have just got motorboated by a male stripper who told me I should be a porn star and not a vet student.
I snuck a teenager into a club last nite, I felt like such a criminal. It was Awsome
You know that we wouldn’t even be talking about all this if you would have kept your candy consumption judgement comments to yourself.
Randomize
