if i remember New Year's Eve then there is something seriously wrong.
I got an 8 ball and a free entrance pass to the strip club, if i dont get laid tonight I never will.
I miss the days when all my weekends consisted of were 69 and crunchwraps
I'm just gonna plan on never getting a bf. everything I touch turns to gay
You know me. im down for anything that could harm my well being. lets dress like dolphins so everyone will see what dicks they are.
I see your smile in the face of every drunk that senses he's about to slay a troll.
we somehow managed to fit a llama, a stripper pole and a hayride all into the same day.
So if I get kidnapped from my office and go missing for a few days does that count against my vacation days and do I still get paid?
Don't forget the part about the bar bathroom stumbles.
Oh damn, you're right. I have to include that. You turned off all the lights with your head. That was impressive.
I just want to eat my penis shaped food in front of you and see how you feel about it.
My fucking earlobe is bruised what the hell
I did this clutch move yesterday at the bar where I grabbed a plastic cup for water and discreetly threw up in it while walking around and then tossed it. It was my best boot and rally ever
Dicks are not precious.
Well I want to be mistreated and called a slut and finger banged
But I guess hugs would be nice
What's your opinion on eating ass? Just looking for a yes or no
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