My RA just tried to write me up for having sex too loudly during quiet hours.
What's the point of having 3 fuck buddies when their periods all seem to sync up
He just did blow off my nipples. He's not serious about his girlfriend.
I would have thought, as two of my best friends, you girls could have cought me as I fell out of the shower. There are so many bruises.
remember how i yelled at you for inviting that coke dealer to the party?! i found the $100 bill they were snorting with in the couch.
..new slutty dresses or booze? i won't even waste time with the i told you so.
Fun fact. I am at the police dept. getting served a warrant for unpaid ordinance... and the officer was a one night stand from like 10 years ago.
Well I'm sleeping with two of them cause they have nice cars. And the third cause she has a big rack. I'm just really waiting for it all to blow up in my face so I can find a girl I'm actually interested in
my dad has now seen 6 different dudes grab my ass. i guess i should start a list.
Also not to brag but I got high last night and got us a host family in a chateau in the south of France
That last one reminds me of the time we smoked that foot-long joint and by the time we'd finished we were so stoned we applauded it.
He changed the password on his Netflix account. The break up is official.
When you wear a dress that resembles the shape and color of Kirby to a wedding, you get the attention you deserve.
If all that ever happens between us is orgasms and dank memes, I think I'd be okay with that.
I'm too pretty to go to jail. Especially in Louisiana.
I think I just got booty called by someone I've never slept with or even really had a conversation with before.
Randomize
