Why don't you ever send me any naked pics
**** and his GF asked me to give his stuff back, and they would give me a 100. HA, they dont know I have it to charity haha
Last night was an abortion. I might need a publicist.
sex on the roof is not as easy as it sounds
These 31 Gross People Really Put The ‘Trash’ In ‘Trashed’
I think you're asking the wrong person. You don't understand. Like I would fuck the act of fucking itself if I could.
I woke up and someone had put toast at my feet. I was SO. HAPPY.
I have got to stop assigning last names to girls I get numbers from based on what I think will remind me of them... Sarah Petrydish is not an acceptable memory trigger
She carries a brick in her purse. I wouldn't get in a fight with her
We have to have sex while I'm dressed as a tiger. It's one of my life goals
21 Bartenders That Are Definitely Winning At Their Jobs
He said he was gonna go pull a lochte and the next thing we know he's outside ass naked peeing in the neighbors kiddie pool.
He asked if I had feelings for him while I was lying naked on the floor vomiting into a trashcan as he held my hair and fed me Pringles.
I just pulled a seven inch black hair out of my ass. Pretty sure that means we're dating now
Seriously, though. As long as it's attached to you and is not a vagina, I will not be disappointed.
My life is literally "I'm too horny you can't leave" or "let's have pie" there's like no inbetween
I never realized the effects a broken spine would have on my sex life