fine then we can just have courtesy sex i definetly won't like it
no, i swear. she uses a huge jagermeister flag as a sheet on her bed.
I love how understanding people are when they hear we first hooked up getting high and watching nature shows
I am literally too baked to press the call button. How am I supposed to bone him?
These 27 Hilarious People Wrote Their Own Obituaries
She puked in the bank of America parking lot? Awesome.
Yeah, figured I'd deposit my check while we were there.
The first song on his sex mix was "highway to the danger zone"
GOOD NIGHT DREAM OF ALCOHOL SNO CONES
Just please never masturbate in my bed again. I'm burning my sheets as I write this.
at least you know where his tattoos end, so it wasn't a complete waste of time.
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We're listening to space jam. This can only be a good omen.
If you're mature enough to fuck him you're mature enough to tell him you don't want a relationship come on
When he saw my tits he said "wow you should be proud.
She still didn't believe that he would cheat on her so I finally said "how else would I know that his batman mask is still in the back of his car from halloween?" I think she accepted it
I jammed my finger giving him a hand job. Don't ask how, I'm still trying to figure that out.
MY WHOLE FAMLY IS TALKING ABOUT MY BUTT
WAIT I'M COMING I WANT TO TALK ABOUT IT TOO