Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(717): View more from Pennsylvania

i've never been more proud of someone than i was when he told me he got his first blowjob at age 13...from two chicks

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(920): View more from Wisconsin

you were smoking 3 cigarettes at once saying 'cancer isn't real! Its all in your head!'

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(412): View more from Pennsylvania

judging by my wet hair I would guess I showered at the bartenders apt last night?

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(724): View more from Pennsylvania

Listen, you can whine about not having a "red" wine glass, or you can suck it up and chug it from the vase like the rest of us. The choice is yours.

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27 Signs That Someone Will Probably Be Bad At Sex
Read it at the TFLN blog
(715): View more from Wisconsin

So you think it's my fault? I didn't give you the 10 shots you took nor make you eat the brownies we made... btw, i found your engagement ring, it was in the last brownie you wouldn't let me have while dragging me to my room.

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(443): View more from Maryland

You guys can't keep having sex with them and cleaning their house! They're never going to take you seriously!

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(843): View more from South Carolina

my heaven will be filled with hot naked men covered in chick-fil-a sauce and me wearing a bib

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(415): View more from California

how I know last night was a good night: this morning I found a bottle of tapatio, a bag of chicken and a bag of popcorn in my purse.

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(978): View more from Massachusetts

Stories. There's stories.

(781): View more from Massachusetts

MEGHAN YOU'VE BEEN THERE FOR 20 MINUTES

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