I am at the point in my high where i now know/understand chinese.
i think i would be perfectly content if, on my deathbed, i could look back on a life that didn't have any fisting in it
I'm either too drunk or not bisexual anymore
i was surprised by the severity of his small dick condition
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i feel as uncomfortable as your camel toe looks.
Your cum is still running out of me. I pity the next person that tries these jeans on....
I'm just here to guide your spirit, avoiding herpes is on you though
How bad does the situation have to be before its ok to attempt 'catastrophic event sex'?
I'm so hungover that if we go to panera, I'll probably get a bread bowl to throw up in.
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I woke up with a piece of pizza duct taped too my hand and a paragraph written on my chest. Good night is say
Well after last night I am convinced he is real life Tyler Durden. He only exists to me and somehow keeps me out of jail this entire time
Let's just say he sent me a picture of his dick and I was more impressed with the collection of video games he had in the background...
I woke up naked except for someone else's socks. Im so proud
We need to drink more. Just think how awesome it would be to wake up in a trailer and NOT remember how wee got here.
I know it's like I wanna bring somebody fun who I haven't drunkenly expressed my feelings for. Or hooked up with. It's a struggle.