I feel like a panda just shit rainbows on my mind
i wanted a birthday blowjob. not a birthday VD.
Left for charity run at 5AM. Saw a pigeon eating last night's vomit and a pair of shame-walkers in high heels. Nature at it's finest.
IF CHARLIE SCHEEN CAN DO IT I CAN DO IT IM A PROFESSONAL
Chapter 6 - how to lose your underwear in chicago
Like lay upon bear skin rugs, drink brandy and reminisce of the yesteryear's before a majestic fire place? Because those are my plans.
He got completely naked and is now just standee there next to my bed poking at my hamster. Why can't I get sex the normal way.
It's official. This guy and I are going gay for each other. We're tasting the fucking rainbow.
Dude, you can't even imagine the trip, I actually thought that there were Care Bears sitting next to me at the bar, I'm pretty sure I started hitting on the pink one.
She had her pubic hair down there shaved into the superman s............. Best one night stand ever.
Probably gonna run and pray I throw up. Then go get a coffee/bagel & continue to rally
Phone keeps correcting good morning to "food moaning" and I like the way it thinks.
did you just try to prove your straightness by quoting a lady gaga song?
So her ex boyfriend came up a lot in conversation while I was fucking her. Is that weird?
Who the fuck has a conversation during sex?
Was that before, or after strip tac toe.....
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