Texts From Last Night

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  (603): View more from New Hampshire

  I have to look really hot tonight because my personality is going to suck.

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  (603): I have to look really hot tonight because my personality is going to suck. http://tfl.nu/e2r4
  Replies (11) Good night (742) Bad night (832) Order T-Shirt
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  (305): View more from Florida

  If God's watching us, we might as well be entertaining

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  (305): If God's watching us, we might as well be entertaining http://tfl.nu/lz11
  Replies (24) Good night (5289) Bad night (547) Order T-Shirt
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  (913): View more from Kansas

  the hot woman interviewing me is reading jokes off the back of laffy taffy.... I'm getting laid and possibly a job

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  (913): the hot woman interviewing me is reading jokes off the back of laffy taffy.... I'm getting laid and possibly a job http://tfl.nu/faar
  Replies (24) Good night (6533) Bad night (456) Order T-Shirt
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  (785): View more from Kansas

  so when i dont talk to her she talks to herself...idk whats worse

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  (785): so when i dont talk to her she talks to herself...idk whats worse http://tfl.nu/82q3
  Replies (10) Good night (567) Bad night (4037) Order T-Shirt
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  (405): View more from Oklahoma

  Why did I think it was so necessary to steal that rolling pin?

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  (405): Why did I think it was so necessary to steal that rolling pin? http://tfl.nu/sa7c
  Replies (12) Good night (2930) Bad night (1035) Order T-Shirt
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  (407): View more from Florida

  I just had a heart to heart with a stripper I'm becoming a dentist.

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  (407): I just had a heart to heart with a stripper I'm becoming a dentist. http://tfl.nu/erea
  Replies (11) Good night (3675) Bad night (727) Order T-Shirt
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  (814): View more from Pennsylvania

  so why was i the only one who woke up with ham stuck to my ass?

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  (814): so why was i the only one who woke up with ham stuck to my ass? http://tfl.nu/0xyl
  Replies (6) Good night (1174) Bad night (2013) Order T-Shirt
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  (701): View more from North Dakota

  Can you explain to me the broken disco ball in my front yard?

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  (701): Can you explain to me the broken disco ball in my front yard? http://tfl.nu/5yc2
  Replies (5) Good night (1201) Bad night (1043) Order T-Shirt
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  (757): View more from Virginia

  where are you guys? the police just woke me up on the couch outside.

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  (757): where are you guys? the police just woke me up on the couch outside. http://tfl.nu/wzli
  Replies (6) Good night (2164) Bad night (678) Order T-Shirt
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  (307): View more from Wyoming

  The thumbs up barstamp on my hand is mocking my hangover with its positivity.

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  (307): The thumbs up barstamp on my hand is mocking my hangover with its positivity. http://tfl.nu/x8mh
  Replies (2) Good night (1114) Bad night (487) Order T-Shirt
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  (612): View more from Minnesota

  If you're wondering why you have playpen balls it's because we stopped at chuckie cheese on the way home.

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  (612): If you're wondering why you have playpen balls it's because we stopped at chuckie cheese on the way home. http://tfl.nu/rwle
  Replies (3) Good night (712) Bad night (201) Order T-Shirt
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  (910): View more from North Carolina

  I was so drugged up it was amazing, I felt like a dinosaur "because I enjoyed spinach, and I got apple juice and only dinosaurs get apple juice" according to me the day of, and last night I felt like a rocket ship

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  (910): I was so drugged up it was amazing, I felt like a dinosaur "because I enjoyed spinach, and I got apple juice and only dinosaurs get apple juice" according to me the day of, and last night I felt like a rocket ship http://tfl.nu/4tn2
  Replies (2) Good night (564) Bad night (166)
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  (919): View more from North Carolina

  how do you play pong handcuffed?

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  (919): how do you play pong handcuffed? http://tfl.nu/k407
  Replies (4) Good night (443) Bad night (227) Order T-Shirt
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  (561): View more from Florida

  Mostly i might never get belligerent again because im gonna have to keep track of a diamond ring.

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  (561): Mostly i might never get belligerent again because im gonna have to keep track of a diamond ring. http://tfl.nu/lpoq
  Replies (2) Good night (466) Bad night (174) Order T-Shirt
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  (320): View more from Minnesota

  How do I ask where the Jello shot cups are at Walmart without sounding like white trash?

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  (320): How do I ask where the Jello shot cups are at Walmart without sounding like white trash? http://tfl.nu/c8co
  Replies (12) Good night (436) Bad night (126) Order T-Shirt

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