I just peed or puked all or around my parjibgb lot.
parking. I am not drunk
Omg. If Ina Garten Makes roast chicken one more time im going to strangle her with her white button down
I'm not saying he was bad at sex, but I'm pretty sure I anti-climaxed.
How would you go about getting a hold of the country star that you slept with and are now potentially pregnant with their baby...?
New York to be Host to America’s Biggest Singles Event
New channing tatum movie.
I'll bring my vibrator.
You are an asshole
haha sleeping beauty awakes.
Where did you find this costume?
i knew i liked her after she chugged tequila, fell down the stairs and said "oh dont worry i knew it'd be faster this way"
And then somehow we were arguing over how to fold our arms
Seriously why is the deadbolt locked. This is the second time I'm having to sleep on the porch using my boots as my pillow. I can't wait till the next time your drunk.
Shhh, I'm sleeping. Just let it happen Jess.
Kylie Jenner Wasn’t in the Kardashian X-Mas Cards & the Internet is Losing it
I put you to bed and you would not go unless I let you sleep with the vodka
Two women at the Safeway just got out of their separate cars and kissed. One was driving an outback, the other a CRV. It was like a Honda and Subaru had a lesbian joint venture and filmed the commercial in front of me.
American Eric just peed on us from the second floor. Hes now very confused as to why his "toilet is yelling." Send help.
I decided not to look up the nudes, because I believe that there is a line, and that mocking my old classmate's horrid nudes alone crosses that line.
I know you saw me get knocked out after I stepped on that rake why did you leave me there
She asked me if I would fuck her with my storm trooper mask on