I found a pair of size 15 female undies on my floor?? is that big?
i wish my penis had a tongue
I think I know how big ted kennedy's penis is.
Uh, also, Rob told me he felt bad for choking you.
he somehow instantly knew i was from vermont.
it probably had something to do with chasing your soco with maply syrup.
he peed on his own floor last night after we left the bar. pretty much sums up how i feel about the evening
The countdown is at hand. We are 15 days from so much Jameson that names will be forgotten. Prepare your liver now or severe projectile vomiting will be the theme of the night.
I'm gonna do some tripping... In the direction of balls
Bring a bathing suit and your good liver.
My good liver is still at the dry cleaners. Will my backup liver suffice?
Maybe
It's a beautiful day to be high as fuck
how early is too early to start drinking over the gilmore girls revival
I didn't really understand how big 10 inches is. Now I know.
you stood in front of the mirror for 20 minutes and finally said, "he can hear everything i'm saying inside my head. we need to leave." now try and tell me there is no such thing as too high.
Are you still in his room?
Nope, yogged home at 8 am with one shoe on.
Hypothetically speaking, if a girl asks you to fuck her wearing only your hockey helmet, is that socially acceptable?
Randomize
