shut up. I wear heels bigger than your dick
when I woke up I found a half-eaten cherry toaster strudel sandwich with bacon in the middle.
so apparently dipping a tampon in red gatorade and throwing it out the window on the highway is a $100 fine
Which is scary since we both think with our vaginas
That is the best grammar in a dirty text ever. Excellent use of the semi-colon. And yes; I am hard.
Dear America, sometimes I miss your Everclear and its consequences.
It's total crap. On a side note I watched a porn of 4 guys wrestling in chocolate then messing around with each other. It was like a dream come true
That's not as bad as watching a dumb ass drunk peeing into your window fan -
I could be busy drinking my face off and getting red white and bruised per usual
Yeah I'm just gonna shower and drink a gallon of coffee and drunkenly write my research paper. It'll be fine
My moms new boyfriend looks like Stu Pickles if he was in a biker gang. He gave me free coke though, so come party?
If you're wondering about the mess, we had sex in the kitchen. There was noodles involved.
I'm on my third roll of toilet paper. Today can fuck right off.
you yelled, puked and cried then passed out in the fetal position in your underwear
That 2-CB was ass.
You mean the asprin cut with pez?
Randomize
