I went from a chick that didn't like to have sex to one that can't get enough of it. I can't believe I'm going to say this but at 27 I think I need a happy medium
i have to get rid of the hedgehog.
Does it come with a cage?
yes. and food and toys.
i'll trade you an 8th for it
deal.
He offered but I said no. I didn't think it'd be cool to accept cupcakes in the mens room of a gentlemans club.
Remember the time we were in the hospital and I wanted to steel the arm restraints and use them as sex toys?? Oh college memories....
Siri just reminded me to pickup Plan B
You're right. Single life welcomed me back with open arms. It's like it knew it wasnt going to be long when I left.
how does 'resolution to respect myself more' follow 'he fucks me really hard'?
Third base with a 7ft basketball player last night. Fingers like a champ. I call him Edward Penishands.
Are you considering all the consequences of doing your boss or are you just rationalizing with your vagina?
She said, I've heard about you, from girls you wouldn't even be interested in. What?
Fuck you, I'm yelling at a mountain right now
Shaving your bikini line at 11 at night in the Walmart bathroom feels trashy no matter why you're doing it.
I just got through airport security with 5 grams of weed in my back pocket. Either I deserve a metal or the government is slacking
First dip in a brand new jar of Nutella, and my man’s dick are two things I will not fucking share.
Our love of vodka is more proof than a maternity test
Randomize
