Now hope fervently that she'll do it quick and cheap, just the way i like it
Whatever, you were 10 deep and there was a hot tub. No judgment.
he used the word "rubber" i just couldn't do it after that.
My dad assaulted a TSA agent this morning. Shut down airport security. Don't tell me that your family is embarrassing.
We are possibly on our way, unless we see the limo full of strippers.
I'm pretty sure this is how polyamorous relationships begin.
did i call you last night crying about tacos and the royal wedding again?
There were penises being pulled out everywhere.
He woke me up at 3 am kneeling on the floor pissing and yelling, then he passed out and stole my comforter. I want a new roommate...
Ive only seen a dude masterbate on a train twice, once on the Jtrain and once on the Ftrain... trust me you never wanna see where the subway turns around.
Made up a full house drinking game
On my way.
i spent 45 minutes yellng Heather I feel so bad i wanna die and then 45 more yelling I DONT WANNT TO DIE. thats how drunk i was
At least you didn't wake up next to your professor who then proceeded to cancel class via phone while still inside of me.
Can I get high for this class every tuesday? Its like a multi-sensory carnival acid trip.
What. The. Fuck.
You'll have to be more specific. I do a lot of "what the fuck" kind of stuff
Randomize