I think I kinda wanna bone that ginger from Harry Potter.
You literally just made my flesh crawl.
wouldn't it be funny if when girls shaved their vaginas, they gave them sideburns?
90% of the problems in your life are directly related to your vagina
he suggested we appoligize to eachother. then do blow and painkillers & have ourselves a make-up party.
I couldn't even finish, she was lounder and more annoying than DJ Khaled
I hope he didn't notice that my shirt was inside out when I told him I didn't have sex with the guy. Kind of a dead giveaway.
So here i am dipping ice cream in my vodka and watching the bad girls club on demand. This is not ok
The Supreme Court upheld health insurance. If that's not an excuse to get hospital drunk, I don't know what is.
You got into a heated argument about Frankenstein's intelligence while double fisting burritos from taco bell.
You thanked your mom for the gymnastic lessons so you could do a keg stand
Wow. The LSU Tennessee game is on here and the LSU cheerleaders are stupid hot. Its weird having a hard on. At a bar. On a Wednesday. By yourself.
I woke up this morning to my panties draped around the neck of an empty bottle of bulleit. That is the perfect visual metaphor for my life at this juncture.
The highlight of my night will be digging in other people's garbage
some guy had a sword and everyones crying..it turned bad..fast.
My cat is sitting in the window watching the neighbor's dogs doing it. I think she's lonely too.
Randomize
