she has a tiny mouth but huuuge vocal chords
I let some guy put hot sauce in my asshole for his birthday
I just remembered we were doing butt clenching exercising with bar straws last night
I just found glass in my funny face pancakes, there's nothing funny about that.
so i just calculated it and i would need to score 150% on this final to pass
he drunkenly pissed himself on the deck, in the bathroom, and on my couch within the span of an hour
its like an avodart commercial...maybe he has a growing problem
Just tried to chase Captain Morgan with water...this whole drinking alone business is getting harder to do.
An there's a little girl across the bar eating Mac n cheese... #1 she won't stop looking at me. Boo bitch I'm drinking alone. #2 I'm about to tackle her ass for that Mac n cheese.
You passed out while holding my hair during a blow job.. i think your gona have to earn back blow jobs
Eating my shrimp pasta on the porch with a 40, wearing a Hawaiian shirt, proclaiming "I GOT SCRIMPS." I just jumped the shark of college.
The sign say "Kereoke" strip bar. 5 more beers and ill be ready to rumble.
You started drinking at 2:30, did you really think you would be able to remember?
You woke up butt naked, peed yourself said something about jumbo shrimp, and passed back out 10 seconds ltr..
he asked me where I was going to school, and then we started having sex, and I answered his question forty five minutes later after we were done. It was the chilliest thing ever.
I think I had Hypothermia but was too drunk to notice.
Randomize
