I just heard a girl say "We can't go that way, it is a one way street." She was on foot...Nothing worse than girl from the midwest that move to NY to "live out their dream" -the dream of living in a rat and roach infested 200sqft for $2k a month, and get fucked by some recent Ithaca college frat grad...
I was so high I thought there were pigeons in my room. Long story short there are now donut crumbs all around my bedroom.
It's only slutty when someone else does it. It's okay if it's us though
Do you think the guy at the front desk was watching us last night? Although we were in a public pool, therefore our tits were free game.
Your 'drink of the future' makes sense now- you feel it for atleast 10 hours into the future
so why was i the only one who woke up with ham stuck to my ass?
admittedly, it's a little weird getting relationship advice from the mother of a former one night stand. but she's a wise lady and she buys me drinks, so i'm ok with it.
I walked in and saw him spread eagle on the couch beatin it, while he just pet the dog that sat there and stared. mom was pissed
I ordered a million chicken go wraps and they gave me five. Even when im drunk I can count to a million and know its not five. They fucked me.
He asked me to hum the Ghost Busters theme song as I was going down on him
The random guy I fucked from craigslist said I had the best smile. I take compliments where i can get them
I'm wearing the monkey suit out tonight. I hope you're ok with it leaving the bedroom
Need to find a Santa hat to fit my penis, he deserves to be festive too.
Finally finished unpacking shit from school n found a bra with no idea whose it is... I miss college so much it hurts sometimes
There is a french fry attached to my steering wheel and a note that says "eat me yum yum" can you explain this?
Randomize
