it hasn't hit me that college is over yet. so far at home, i haven't brushed my teeth, taken off my makeup, or changed clothes before bed.
I want to make Jon&Kate babies with him. Not in quantity, but in percentage asian.
hey, when you wake up, search yourself on youtube
my sister already found it, were watching it right now. i give it 2 thumbs up.
It's been 5 months since I last wore a condom.
Not including when spray tanning
Johns diaper came in the mail. He's freaking out thinking there's some conspiracy going on since he sharted on the drive home from st. Louis
No. I want to vom filet mignon and ziti bits everywhere and my body feels like I ran a cock triathalon. I feel less triumphant and more like death.
I don't wanna be gay for a night.
I think it would be worth it for free alcohol.
somehow I feel like "adventures with cocaine and molly" wouldn't be an appropriate "How I Spent My Spring Break" essay topic.
I also tried to solve my dog's itching problem with crystal healing. I'm so high, dude.
I just rubbed amethyst all over him and kept saying 'no bites.'
I just came so hard my hamstring felt like it was going to tear. I am also now a screamer
He literally had a Trump sign in his front yard. I just can't now.
WHAT IS ALL THIS WATER BOTTLE FLIPPING NONSENSE? WHAT IS LIT?
YOUTHS.
She turned down sex for beer pong. I'm not sure if I should be disappointed or not.
Also, apparently I'm only coherent when I'm drunk sexting. And then I'm grammatically perfect and impressively eloquent.
i am currently wearing a bowl of frosting on my head. i do not regret any of my life choices leading to this moment
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