I just went through her cupboards. Eye patch and sword. nowhere near each other. different shelfs.
Pretty sure I just slept with Elmo.
We're having the conversation about what happened last night, all we can come up with is that we came home, drank two litres of lemonade, I took one of her seizure pills and we fell asleep with sabrina the teenage witch on
She is trying to turtle bite me and when I pull away she says just let it happen. Then she pulled a poptart out of nowhere
He threw up. He never throws up. It was like finding out superman cant fly anymore. I was so sad for him.
She kept sniffing my sweater and tried to guess what type of detergent I use.
Everyone should know the rule that if your dicks touch during a threeway you just make lightsaber noises and move on.
I have an epic ass bruise from a wheel tonight and I am drunk now because I decided vodka heals all wounds.
Sexiest use of a semi colon this week, congratulations.
Everyone is like kids first day of school and I'm over here like I need to stop sleeping with random
Are we gonna talk about that cunnilingus snap
You seem to be avoiding the poop question. How did you poop on your hand?
It's a novelty for anyone to see a girl like me in a skirt like this milking a cow
Should I rub the neighbors amazon package in the dog shit they left on the front steps?
Between falling off a shelf on to a concrete floor and sex with you - i may never walk again.
Randomize
