I had a talk with my mom about respecting myself and not acting like a whore so she will rip my nose ring out if she somehow sees that picture
you tried to scramble eggs in my dryer last night. i want you here in 15 minutes to clean this shit up
about to play the homeward bound drinking game. alone. what are you doing tonight?
Do you think my parents will accept my drinking habits more if I told them I like to drink every night because I take good shits the next morning?
We were gonna play Truth or Dare but like 10 minutes in we decided to get naked and play Dare or Get the fuck out.
Drunk walkin through police station. America
It's amazing I mean I blew that senator just for him to deny me marriage.... Politics suck and he swallowed!
it's like my freshman wet dream come true
I cried singing "call me maybe" on the way home from the bar. What the fuck
Nah, this is the University of Tennessee. She'll get the clap, and get busted for having pot in her dorm by spring break. This time next year she'll be part-timing at a community college as a nursing major. So predictable it hurts.
It was drunk tag. I was Alice in wonderland chasing a ballerina who was chasing Lance Armstrong who had needles in his arms.
Just made out with the guy who gave me my tour. Full circle college win.
Getting robbed by hookers is def a right of passage in a mans life
I just want him to hold me after a bad midterm. Is that even too much to ask for after sleeping with him twice?
Looking back, we probably shouldn't have chased alcohol with more alcohol
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