I wont touch it. I promise i wont touch it. JUST GET UNDER THE DAMN TABLE PLEASE.
I haven't had nearly enough lesbian experiences to fully commit to this relationship.
whoooo knowwsss what george of the jungle juice is but i feel like im in the promised land
We got really high and decided it would be a good idea to wash towels in the dishwasher. I left before I could see the final result.
Bro I can't jerk it to my phone anymore. I feel Siri staring back, and she's real disappointed.
I even tried crushing up viagra and putting it in his beer... And the next day he found the package on the counter. I told him it was for my friends husband.
I feel like a cloud. A cloud that wants to be laid.
I woke up this morning to a lot of blurry photos of a swan i must have chased down the riverbank and a handbag full of loose haribo.
My backyard is filled with beer cans. You idiots turned our backyard into a redneck ball-pit
My very favorite thing in the whole world is when guys try to booty call her as I'm fucking her. Sucks to suck.
Just had my first american. He tasted like freedom.
logically I know i should probably study somewhere outside my dorm room, but if I do that then I cant drink and smoke half as much while i study
death bed.
death patio
stfu you slept on the patio!?!
He ate me out while I was playing bejeweled. It was the greatest moment of my life.
U NO SLUT. YOUR HEART IS JUST FREE.
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