it got awkward when she realized that our nickname for her was "The Hambeast"
it took me 2 minutes to realize that it wasn't HER hand on my penis. First, and worst threesome ever..
He's married, a coworker, and a smoker. not sure which personal rule broken i'm most ashamed of...
You opened a bottle of wine with a shoe and a wall last night.
you sat in the middle of your kitchen floor feeding your dog blueberries one by one
I HAVE MY OWN TITS FOR THAT AND I CAN GUARANTEE THAT THEYRE MORE GLORIOUS
Can we dedicate this weekends marathon sexcapades to all the haters?
I'm not entirely sure what we did is legal in the U.S., but I know that couple wont be the same
Shame?!? Shame only comes from getting naked in front of strangers and it not being awesome
You were throwing cups at people in the basement, yelling at them to get out of your swamp.
To keep it classy I will take a pregnacy test on Mother's Day
So I should just walk in, look him in the eye and say, "I just came to fuck your brother, nice to meet you" and just walk to your room.
Just boned her on my desk. on top of my term paper. take that professor dipshit
Can you recommend a quality dick? I haven’t had a good sexing in a while
I don't know what that means but it's making me want to fuck you.
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