friends don't let friends hook up with gingers.
you wouldnt answer to anything but devil's advocate all night.
He's throwing up in my bed and I'm not even getting fucked for this
got so drunk i was kicked out of my own birthday party and tried taking a bottle of vodka with me
i screwed him while his gf was puking in the shower. 2011 is looking up already
i'll prob lay in bed. its weird not having to track my wallet down, its become such a weekly habit. i suddenly have so much free time
Meeting relatives from another state drenched in tequila and smelling of weed. I'm gonna kill you for soaking the only bra I brought in Jose Cuervo Gold.
I thought turtle was a code word for weed until he pulled out a baby turtle from his pocket and said "$20 for a turtle"
Looks like breakfast in bed is out the window. She can't get up because I "fucked her into paralysis." My stomach is not happy with my dick right now
My underwear said "hard to get" on the butt. He laughed when he took them off.
He threw up on my head while I was blowing him, and then I started barfing, and the kitchen floor was a mess. Believe me, he will never, ever live this down.
Watching a bear prancing around in a tiara is worth a loss of bar time.
the last thing i heard from her was "i wanna get fucked by a stranger" and i haven't seen her since
I never thought I'd be complaining about having sex 4 times a day, but here we are...
Just walked into the supermarket puking into a plastic bag while wearing my favorite Bob Ross shirt. I am a human disaster.
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