The bird has been looking kind of ugly lately...gotta look nice to fly with the hawk ya know?
After last night I still want u
But please keep that on the DL
The walk of shame is slightly more complicated when you wake up in the wrong country...
Did you ever feel like going into a planned parenthood and performing an abortion in front of them?
Umm..who the fuck is this?
Oh shit
were trying to schedule when i can give him head in between classes.
just lying in bed drinking beer with a straw waiting for motivation. why?
I seriously think my heart may fail. And I didn't even grab a toilet beer :(
Remind me not to get naked underneath a tree I'm allergic to again.
Having a man strip on demand was an awesome way to start birthday. What more could a girl ask for? U the best!
No it's ok I've been talking to the girl at the Chinese restaurant about your dick for the last 20 minutes. I haven't mentioned your name but she thinks she knows you.
I just heard myself say the sentence "I'm gonna go to the bank then take a nap". 8 year old me just slapped my present self through the space-time continuum for being an old fuck.
Currently hot boxing a fort I made on our snow day... This is legendary
You know your night is done when the police confiscate your bra at high school basketball game
And then he served me a piece of a brownie on his dick. It tasted amazing. Such a good night!
I made you bacon and gave you a blow job. I'd say you had a pretty great day.
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