butt plug
anus plug
rubbish cock?
yes
you suck at this game today
you may be an alcoholic when your drug dealer calls to yell at you for drinking too
Your dick is once again the conversation topic.
Men with bald spots should not have mohawks. Just in case you didn't know.
She transformed our coors light pitcher we stole from the bar into a fruit basket...
This whole living in Ohio thing is getting reaaaaallly old.
he said i ruined lesbian porn for him
Fyi: beer caps are stronger then bathroom counters
He's high as balls tripping balls and doing a reenactment of the scene where Buzz jumps off the balcony and can't fly to his soundtrack of Toy Story.
Also adulthood=replacing meals with bourbon. And not getting your hair caught in a fan.
Why am I feeling up grandma?!
I'm really glad a picture of you as an infant followed this text.
My phone autocorrects "pooping" to "popping" and I'm like DO YOU EVEN KNOW ME??!
So we hooked up and then instead of texting me, he endorsed me on LinkedIn for Microsoft Word a few days later
My disapointment is making my balls hurt :(
He showed me a picture of his family on Instagram and his dad was my Sugar Daddy. ABORT.
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