Please tell me I didn't pass out while we were having sex last night... and if so I am sooooo sorry.
I had a dream last night where you were a transsexual in a low cut blue dress with lovely long brown hair. You were very pretty. I hope you are well.
im keeping my plan b box as a souvenir of my first halloween weekend in college
Washing the last semen-stained shirt you have really solidifies a breakup. It just got real.
I introduced him to the male G-Spot. Don't ever tell me I'm not experienced.
I'm going to try to be reasonable tonight and keep my drink count out of double digits
I'm just going to text him the word sex repeatedly until he comes over.
Did it work?
Duh, it only took 27 texts and 15 minutes and he was at my front door.
Just stared at a tree for a solid 5 minutes because I thought a German Shepard was perched on a limb.
I just really need a hug and a shower beer
It's not socially acceptable to be drunk in adult world. That fact makes me die a little inside.
we def had a heart to heart that turned into a BJ last night
yeah...well...life isn't all puppies & lap dances
When you leave ur sleepover boy on ur front porch waiting for a cab bc work
Quick, I need a picture of your dick. Don't ask questions, just show me your genitals.
Oh well, he'll live. He has a hand and a penis.
Randomize
