Man THE POSTAL SERVICE is awesome when I'm high..... But they suck when I'm sober.
It's like a choose-your-own-adventure. But the adventure is already chosen for you. And it sucks.
all her text said was "asdfhdaufhudshfuds" and i knew that meant come over
I remember saying "sorry" to the blunt before throwing it out the window
It's a big world.....someone has to fuck it.
You know who really doesn't like surpise in-your-face air guitar solos? Strangers.
i don't understand how she was down there for so long, she's like a mermaid, a blowjob giving mermaid.
Note to self: do not take so many shots that you sit on the floor under the bar where nobody can see you, and reach out and grab peoples crotch.
It's fine...I've done worse things to better people.
How do we turn this unicorn pinata into a bong?
cocks speak louder than words, as they say
Nobody says that.
jake and the teradactyl broke up, operation get high and find him a new girl who hasn't had sexual experiences with three delts simultaniously is in full effect.
He's the conductor of the struggle bus
I RODE THAT FINE PIECE OF STRUGGLE BUS
I'm starting to think that Cosmic Steve ripped me off
There I was, puking into the toilet, and he was rubbing my feet, buck naked. I feel like a drunk Disney princess.
Randomize
