She looked like Sean Connery with cleft lip. So to answer your question, yes I put it in her butt.
I just gave my whole company pinkeye. How's that for a summer intern's lasting impression? BOOYAHH
Joey just asked me if I ever got anything stuck in my vag.
was it embarrassing when you had to say yes?
She got all mad because she said it was "unprofessional" to tell my manager to go fist herself.
I joined a mariachi band. they gave me a guitar because i told them i could play. It actually turned out ok
They kicked me out of the mariachi band. Turns out I'm not that good
your ex girlfriend just barged in my house, drunk, mumbled something about "car strip", and put a huge hole in my drywall with her head.
Is it going to be one of those nights where I shouldn't wear my contacts so everyone looks more attractive?
The guy I woke up with is wearing the same nailpolish as me...I need to stop drinking
ecstacy + fleshlight = not all that upset about being newly single anymore
I sold him an eighth while trippin balls wearin my girlfriends tutu and tube top. and i was talking about albinos the entire time
well, he defiantly picked the right guy to buy drugs from
We fed him just...so many bright colored crayons when he was blacked out. I hope he looks at his shits because this could be all for nothing
Why did this happen to me why did I have to meet him if I could go back in time I never would have grabbed his dick
UPDATE: IM NOT A TEEN MOM LETS GO PARTY
Ok so I'm not gonna ignore the fact that you had sex on a frat basement floor and spent the last 4 years wondering how you got HPV
You should have thought of that before emitting walrus sounds while intoxicated
Randomize
