Just hide your weed in your baby brothers shirt. TSA wont check a baby, thats fucked up
Then she opened the door and pitched the dead squirrel out, yelling "TELL THE OTHERS WHAT YOU SAW"
you know who we are? We're the female white stoner version of Kenan and Kel.
currently pooping in a public restroom while drinking free beer. there has never been a finer line between awesome and depressing.
If I should ask "why am I still single?" could someone please remind me of shooting mike and ikes out of my nose at the bartender last Saturday. many thanks
Halfway through he got an idea for a short story so he wrote it in magic marker on my boobs. Yeah, he's a keeper.
I just realized that I have to choose between a future orthopedic surgeon and a dude currently in jail. My life is so fucked.
Sometimes while peeing I'll go hands free, put my arms up by my chest and make claw hands, and pretend I'm a new type of dinosaur called Dickosaurus Rex.
I just soaked a sugar cookie in nail polish remover to clean off my nails because I was too lazy to walk to the bathroom to get a cotton ball. Is this what rock bottom feels like?
I really shouldn't have to tell you to stop banging your lightsaber on everything while we are in college.
It's just unfortunate that I still have the image of him having sex with me fresh in my mind
I got really adventurous too. Like. Balls in the mouth adventurous.
Allow me to explain. Triple D is a surprise. It's like if you're expecting to fight one person, then you get ambushed by more. Except it's a good ambush, because it's boobs, not death.
Breaking news: when you're gone every towel is a dick towel
definitely good. no good can come from sex in a very full public venue.
Randomize
