If you think im a hippy you should see these girls. They would scissor mother nature if they had the chance.
ya and he came three minutes into it because he didnt have sex all summer
oh that makes more sense i knew you arent that good
Clearly, I'm already going to hell, so there's no point in trying anymore.
I haven't been "cry when you eat ben and jerrys" high in a while.
He showed up to fuck me at the same time the pizza guy did. It was like everything I needed just showed up at my stoop.
This is simple. Just sex and high fives. No feelings.
the saddest part is, this is not even the first time i've woken up in a shopping cart with a concussion.
I'm really hot. went tanning and this cheeseburger shirt like isn't breathable
I'm not going to be your wingman while you are in the hospital.
I turned around and there were three 10 year old kids running around with sparklers. Weirdest college part ever.
Welcome to Philly.
we were both freshly single and using each other as rebounds. most intense sex I've ever had. i felt like a grizzly bear emerging from hibernation in a whirlwind of sexual fury
He literally just made me hold his dick while he peed cause he wanted to know if I could aim as good as him
that awkward moment when you use blowjob jokes as a segue into coming out as bi
Over Bumbled last night. I think I set my dog up on a date Sunday afternoon. I have to drive him, meet the other dog’s dad and secretly drink a bottle of champagne from a “water bottle”. This is not what I expected 30 to be like.
Finally fucked my buddy's mom!! We are both ten years older and for her it really shows but i hit it!!
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