i'm pretty sure i lost all sex appeal when he caught me peeing in his bushes
The only thing the cop asked me is..... "how are you still alive"?
I don't know why I've never thought to take my bong into the bathtub before.
I walked into the garage and you were telling the bikes that you were not that drunk.
30 People Reveal The Moment They Realized: ‘Oh Sh*t, I’m An A**hole’
Facebook stalking a girl from Germany is harder then you think.you have to copy and paste all this shit into freetranslations.com then try and piece together an awkward sentence. If only I could put this energy into something productive.
we got hammered off table wine and i ended up biting my acrylic nail off so i could finger his butt.. ill never look at valentines day the same
get over here now. the boys are doing shots of everclear, chasing with monster, and some dude jsut walked in with a backpack full of tattoo gear.
In anticipation of No Judgement Tuesday, I believe a Can We LOL At What We Did Last Night Saturday is in order
I have her designated blowjob hair tie on my wrist. It's like a key to eternal happiness
30 Tiny Celebrity Tattoos You’ll Want To Run Out And Copy ASAP
Aparently i was the only guy at her parents bbq throwing up in the pool so Im the asshole right...
Not drinking has really freed up a lot of my time. I made a bracelet yesterday. I miss bars.
People dont know what to do when a naked fat guy is running towards them. they panic
Just visited the liquor store.... for the 4th time today. shits gonna get weird
If I make it home without being sick in this captain's hat it will be a fucking miracle.
You should come over tomorrow. Wine, pizza and my vagina. Those are all great things.