I accidentally had phone sex last night
does your mom think i'm crazy? i just realized i played both the gay dad and the ex-jew card tonight. i blame the wine
what happened last night??
everyone saw ******'s vagina
and that's just the beginning
making an appointment with student health services to check out my pinkeye on 4/20. they are going to thing this is such a joke
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i am breaking up with you. because you wash your hair too much and you only drink light beer and because you're not party enough.
Just tried to chase Captain Morgan with water...this whole drinking alone business is getting harder to do.
Tomorrow is Have Sex and Climb A Mountain Day. We have amazing dates.
All of the texts in my phone just say "BEER". I woke up with glowsticks on my arm. What happened last night?
im not sure what exactly happened but i may need help faking my own death
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If he survived pride he can survive a gay bar
Woke up this morning with an extra $35 and someone else's ATM receipt. How much did I drink last night?
He was so high he started playing Twister on the striped rug. Then when we missed midnight he went on a screaming rampage about his New Year's Eve being meaningless. How do you think it went?
Sometimes I look at her and just start choking. She is that much of an evil entity.
I tired using vodka to remove my makeup
Holy shit he’s stupid hot! If you don’t hurry up and make a move my ovaries are going to march over there and introduce themselves
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