I hraet yuo
did you say you heart me or hate me?
who is this?
you threw up out the window, wiped your face with a twenty dollar bill, and threw that out the window too.
did we at least go back and get it?
how else do you think we got jack in the box...?
He went down on me and then slapped my ass saying "thanks for the confidence boost"... is this all I'm good for?
we kept pushing you at the prospective students saying go for it, itll make them want to come here
you kept yelling THIS ONES FOR THE ADMISSIONS OFFICE and then youd go in for the kill
She was standing in the road flagging traffic in a tshirt and boxers. I didn't stop.
All she wanted was a cigarette
Getting business cards printed for tonight. Would you rather be: 1. Vice President of Argentina 2. Celebrity Dental Assistant or 3. Dial-Up Internet Technician
3. Dial-Up Internet Technician.
dude, you declined head because you wanted to tell her about how you put cinnamon in your weed. also, we're low on Chef Boyardee
Suppose hypothetically u received a request for face time communication with a gentleman who looked astonishingly like a penis. Would you indulge him in conversation? Hypothetically of course.
True love is when you jack off and continue talking to the girl you like
Why do you text me weird shit like this?
What I've learned from glowsticks: glowing things are not safe to eat
would you like to venture to the magical clitoris forest?
Considering all of my stomach contents ended up in my center console, I'm a bit peckish.
after we got done having sex, you rolled over and ask what your yelp review was. So yea I'm kinda mad.
i'm trying not to stalk him on facebook
i gave in
I was totes going to lose it to him last night, but I cried and we ate mexican food instead.
Randomize
