I think about you every night.
I'm sorry.
i have to go see a new gyno today. he's a male. i just took 3 shots of tequila. its almost like freshman year... drink alcohol, meet a strange man, let him play with my vagina.
any plan I had today of being a productive member of society, I am officially throwing out the window.
i fucked her mom dude
there's something to tell the kids
if youre pregnant and ruin my spring break i'll never forgive you.
Down at Ground Zero right now. So many people here. It's the most patriotic game of grabass Ive ever seen.
the ball fondling will be left out of the trip recanting
I'm going to have to start playing roller derby again so I can blame my sex-related bruises on that.
Did I run away from you last night?
Yeah it was a great moment for our friendship
YOU CAN'T GET A TATTOO BECAUSE OF KPOP FANFICTION. THAT'S NOT HOW LIFE WORKS
#tbt to when you let me put plastic wrap on your balls and hum a little song
Tequilla is a sneaky bitch ninja that doesn't kick in until you least expect it. Then BAM! You're peeing in unconventional places.
Masturbated while waiting for my face mask to dry, so it was a productive night.
I woke up with what has to be a whole pack of smarties loose in my bra. Was that your fault?
And then he peed in my hair
Randomize
