But you know it's love when you find brass knuckles in the same box he keeps his Naruto action figures.
my entire walk over here no one looked in my eyes. Period Boobs are BAACKKK.
I don't know, I don't really wanna ask the question, "Mom why am I not circumcised?"
Sober Sundays just aren't working out anymore.
If you ever find a dick that big chop it off and bring it to me.
We used a lit joint as a candle for her birthday cake
No one ever gets any after sleeping with her. She is like the broken mirror of hookups, enjoy 7 years of blue ball. Don't say I didn't warn you
The ranger made you choose between a ticket and pouring all the beer out since it was a state park.
I've never seen you that close to tears as you poured out 30 beers.
The topic of sex in the jamba banana suit has come up on multiple occasions. We're just waiting for a moment to try it out.
Come to find out, there is a place where binge drinking and aggressive head butting is completely appropriate. In a mosh pit, Travis is just a regular dude!
He snorted adderall on my table. I have a feeling he's not trying to buy me flowers
Not gonna lie: had to look up how to spell fellatio. Not sure I spelled it right even now. Looks like a Shakespearean character. ENTER FELLATIO, SOLILOQUIZING.
My fart just smelled like the inside of white castle, I mean spot on, no difference whatsoever.
did you call me last night and say you were being kidnapped?
I WANT GRASS AND TREES NOT SOMEONE SWINGING A SWORD AROUND
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