i can totally see doctors naming an STD after you
i want to give my vagina back to god and say no thank you
so we told my parents we were going trick or treating. got high as shit at some playground. and then bought our own candy so we looked legit when we got home.
The police are arresting two women who got in a fight for the last Twilight DVD at Best Buy. Classic.
Maybe you should go over there and lead him on and reach down his pants like he's about to get some and yank his balls.
That's the best idea I've heard all day.
I have some memory of taking a dump in a guitar case.
so, are you laying bloody on campus somewhere or did you go out after class and forget to let me know?
bloody. ill be home soon.
I just remember thinking, if she falls asleep, I'm totally eating that spilled chex mix right off of her.
they would be such cute babies and they would grow up to have huge dicks. and that would make me proud as a mother
How would one go about tricking someone into chugging an entire bottle of tequila?
Thanks for letting me rent out your vagina rec room. I don't expect the security deposit back.
I'm tellin ya, let the nipple get some air, they'll hire u on the spot, lawyers love a little nip
Ok, so technically yes she wore a red tank top to the stoplight party. But under it was a yellow bra and green panties.
I was masterbating to some porn on my phone and my mom decides to text me "are you okay?" I mean i was doing great until you cock blocked me mom..
Trusting in Jesus is not a viable birth control plan.
Randomize
