Drank beer out of a hotwheels bucket all night
i had confetti in my bra
i still find it in random places like a shoe or my car. that week haunts me
They went to the hospital to try backflips in the parking lot. Be ready for the call
I was trying to sing daddy wasnt there from austin powers but apparently I was crying and and yelling jibberish...I get to into this shit
I just try to date guys based on what I need like I am trying to find an electrician now
You gays are geniuses
That guy is like a clown car of sexy. Just when I think I've seen it all, THERE'S MORE.
AND SOME IN THE TRUNK.
I spent half an hours grinding with a drunk Harry Potter cosplayer at the con rave. Pretty sure I felt his wand.
Is it bad juju to glue mini budda to the bottom of a shot glass
I stole all of the toasting champagne and did an interpretive dance to "wind beneath my wings". I am literally everything you're not supposed to do at weddings.
But your showmanship is impeccable.
I'm on the same pooping schedule as a professor I've never had. He now says what's up to me in the hallway
Opened my notebook to coke all over the pages. So, if that's any indication on how this weekend went.
All I got was pictures of my boss and dicks. So, that was the end of snapchat.
I would drive 12 hours round trip for you to have an orgasm, cause that's friendship
The first time he ever tried to hold my hand, I moon walked away.
Did I just pee in the Taco Bell parking lot?
Yep. But do you remember wiping with my quesadilla?
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