He yelled GOOOOAAAALLL when he came.
just took batteries out of my vibrator to play wii guitar hero. think i am gonna regret that move later tonight.
Just found out its our ciliated mucous membrane that traps the molly when we snort it. Biology does relate to life
I just want you to know that i just realized your the only friend i dont feel fat around.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I don't know the quality of the hand jobs you've received in the past but it CLEARLY was not one from me
He's taking me to Burger King to celebrate losing my virginity..
I want him to be the Hulk to my Brooke Hogan this Halloween. Can I ask him to be my daddy this weekend?
Only if you say it like that.
Ive waited a long time for a girl with prescriptions like yours.
you got us kicked out of the restaurant for trying to pee in the trash can.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If your plan is to re-bang every girl you banged in high school - you're gonna need a spread sheet and clip board.
How on earth did you break your wrist?
I went into someone's yard so I could pee and I found a tireswing
I snorted xanax while wearing reindeer antlers. Prancer gone wild. Have a merry Christmas.
Tbh.. I hope he still watches our sex tapes so he can be reminded of what he's missing out
There's a big ass bed, hella ecstasy, and I can guarantee you'll regret every second that you remember.
I can barely operate my hands; what makes you think I can operate my dick
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