AIM automatically accepts video chats on my laptop. I found this out when I got a text from Jacob after my first attempt at drunk lesbian sex saying, "I'd give it a 7. You need to work on your positioning." I think I'm single now.
i just spent an hour trying to convince my blind date that star wars is better than star trek. help me
I feel fat after drinking my meal replacement shake.
I added chocolate sauce, a bsg of m&ms and a crushed up brownie to make it taste better.
So my prents justed posted "DO NOT DISTURB" on facebook and i just heard their door shut and lock...I'm leaving
Just hide your weed in your baby brothers shirt. TSA wont check a baby, thats fucked up
He offered to take me out to a nice dinner but I told him I would rather he just pay for my beer this weekend
Supposedly i was taking multiple birth control pills while screaming dot judge me. Never going back
at what point did you think saran wrap was a better alternative to shoes?
You were dancing with his friend and you stopped to literally push the girl he was dancing with out of the way to make out with him
It was over as soon as he asked if he could name my vagina pancake.
She licked my face when I was on the phone with a customer and I just laughed. Im not sure if thats good or bad
The guy who's car I hit last night just followed me on Twitter...not sure how to feel about it.
2014 decided to stick it to me one last time. Right up the ass.
I'm at her wedding and she managed to get every single one night stand I ever had in her wedding party. Why does she hate me?
With a word you would own me. At your command I would walk to your house completely naked.
Randomize
