Crosby and Malkin: Two girls, one cup.
I just saw the host of Singled Out do standup. Holy shit 1995.
We decided to smoke and then made crosses on our foreheads for ash wednesday
mom would be proud
i jus dunped the rest of my drink down the sink and tool my bra off. pretty sure this is the best decision for everybody.
On the plus side I got to ride in a fire truck and I didn't have to blow anybody for it
Nice. Don't spend your therapist's co-pay on Jaeger bombs.
Seriously just confirmed via our bathroom scale that a keg weighs 170lbs
It's Wednesday. And it's about that time to remind everyone that my priorities from last weekend have not changed moving forward into this weekend.
Dad danced with a girl half his age and her boyfriend just sat at the bar and waited for dad to be done. I bought pity nachos.
The highlight of the night was definitely when you starting telling ppl you could shapeshift and "proved" that by stripping.
We had sex last night...... This "Friends" thing is going well.
UPS just delivered me 30lbs of dried cherries... I shouldn't be allowed online when I take painkillers.
Because you hugged a homeless guy, and I paid him 5 bucks to give us our giraffe balloon animal back. That's why.
I’m vetoing meatball margaritas right out the gate. We can’t have people throwing up again!
I dunno about you, but I consider getting eaten out on the porch of a houseboat in -30c in a bridesmaids dress a northern right of passage
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