I have got to lose weight!! Apparently no one wants to fuck a fat chick with herpes.
Hannah Montana > iCarly
I'm disregarding that text and your testicles entirely
So he told me he didn't have a condom, paused, and then said "so, pulling out" and tried to high five me.
He kept his baseball cap on when he went down on me...
while you laid on the ground I poured water into your mouth out of dog bowl some random guy walks by and said now that's what I like to see.
Are you in a cab?
I'm close- can you order me a bowl of vodka?
I'm not holding out much hope. She met me in a nighclub when I was arguing with the cigarette machine
She is banging on the liquor store door begging them to let her come in.
Ice cream after masturbating>masturbating any other time
I am going to dream of scrotums tonight, I just know it.
gymnastic barn sex. fuck i wish i hadn't blacked out
I've been really sick the past 4 days. Last night, I actually turned down a bj. I may be dying.
I'm ready to run through the streets naked yelling "HES ALIVE!"
Fuck. Totally just had sex instead of studying for econ test in an hour. Gonna get fucked again. HELP ME WITH YOUR EXTENSIVE KNOWLEDGE OF ECON
There’s a child, alone, sitting on a picnic table out there, making bird noises
Randomize
