i hope kanye doesn't show up to patrick swayze's funeral. " i'll let you get back to your funeral in a minute...but michael jackson had the best death of the year. just sayinnn ".
The project manager just came into talk to me for the first time and I had justed googled best drum solo ever and couldn't X out of the screen.
The only problem is i have violated all potential new years resolutions at the new years party.
It was the third Sunday in a row that I woke up in his bathtub. So no our sex life isn't that great anymore.
Ps. I feel like I may pee myself this weekend. Either drunkenly or out of excitement. Toss up
Found your dick twin last night
My goal for the night is to see your housemate's one lonely teste.
I can only send "I want your dick" texts to so many guys before I accidentally over-book myself. I need a day planner.
Dude that's beautiful. I've never heard of someone smoking with their bunny.
I feel like I have a connection with him. A marijuana-induced-spiritual connection.
I woke up in a tow truck cuddling plan b. Can you pick me up?
All i really remember is meeting this guy dressed as jesus and i kept taking his wine and saying "the body of christ!"
I also woke up in my friends room to 3 girls and a naked boy on the floor but thats besides the point
he brings me coffee and gets a blow job. not sure if I trained him or he trained me or it's simply mutually beneficial beautiful.
It was a blind-side dick pic.
I threw up in my brother's Easter basket
You should have thought of that before emitting walrus sounds while intoxicated
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