I just spent the night with a bunch of indian guys and i wasn't attracted to a single one. Yeah i've officially become an anti-indian indian.
Idk if this white stuff in my shower is conditioner or... something else?
she was a 2....and a legitimate 2. like, helen keller is a 1, this girl...2.
Wait, how do girls masturbate?
I dunno we use shower heads I guess.
..how does it fit?
I just masterbated while imagining him getting hit by a truck. I have hit a completely unacceptable level of anger & bitterness. Help.
i found a twelve pack under my bed. and a six pack in my closet. I'm like a fucking alcoholic squirrel.
Dude I think I was making out with the cat last night
I don't have a cat..?
Well nonetheless. Whatever it was purred when I used tounge.
Dude just read our convo. Apparently I was talking to you while I was naked. She wasn't happy about it.
What's that word that means bigger and smaller and bigger and smaller, again?
Goddamn it, Jaime, it's 4am. Throbbing. The word is throbbing.
Of course I have to cross through a walk for hunger
DO NOT SLAP ANYONE WITH ANY VEGAN MEAT PATTIES
He used pronouns for his penis while sexting. I don't know what I did to deserve this.
So stoned that I pressed the unlock button on my car keys to walk into my bedroom...
Sabotage it. Cum quick. Make it awkward so you don't hurt her feelings. Who says nice guys finish last?
Alright, I've had enough of this good girl shit. Tonight you either blackout or backout.
Randomize
