That chick was all over your bacon last night, grinding on you, I thought you were going to bang her in the club
Dude it was a lap dance
Come home. Power Hour by yourself is only fun for the first 10 minutes.
should I fuck that poor girl
no dude she won't be able to afford a fucking abortion
Apparently i was peeing on things and marking my territory. I broke their light socket too. Needless to say im banned from their apartment.
Want to come over and play therapist and then fuck all the emotion away?
And I think your bro would be happy to know that when I took my bra off like 10lbs of confetti fell out. It was like my tits were celebrating being free
The cop told us he we helped him pass his monthly bong quota. He almost ran out of room on the hood of his car..
Would it be inappropriate to rub one out in the gym shower? I mean, technically, I pay $80 a month to do what I want so could they really say anything?
Shower is fine. Steam room is shady. I've probably done both at one point in my life so I can't be used as a good reference.
No, this place just freaks me out. Like I feel like ill get pregnant just being here. And all those pregnant bellies. It's weird.
If you hear death cries, thats me singing. Just let me be.
When your grandma invites you to a sweet girls' Valentine's dinner with your mom and sister, but you have to decline because you're trying to get two dudes to rail you at once...
Why is everyone giving me a hard time for drinking?!
Your in the library.
FYI there's a girl here with happy daddy written on her tits
Then you got drunk and shit in her car. Nothing before that matters. She isn’t calling you back.
There's a difference tho. *I* drink at seven in the morning because I work graveyards. YOU drink at seven in the morning cause you're an alcoholic.
Randomize
