I'm already going to be stripping so like pretty much you would just be watching me. Also we're watching twilight. again.
We're pretty sure the 'pocket' aspect of the hot pocket is unnecessary. Testing our theory now.
...So a 6 ft tall drag queen in heels I would kill for just told me I have a dunkable ass. I'm confused...but I'll take any compliment I can.
Sundresses, hats, and big glasses. That is the greatest trick the devil ever taught women.
so he came over for the first time and i completely forgot i had pictures of him printed out from facebook on my wall and a newspaper article with him in it.. you can guess that it lead for an awkward situation.
you were passed out in your cheese fries by the time he brought out your second order of french toast.
I drank myself into bisexuality again.
We played shuffleboard at the bar last night...another sign we are getting tooooo old.
Between my vibrator and my iPhone carpal tunnel is inevitable.
He said I showed up in just my underwear and a bunch of towels I stole from the party I was at.
This guy is walking around with a deer head on. Honestly what the fuck
I like that our conversation ended with "im gonna go get pregnant goodnight"
It's not even 8:30a, wine glass is broken, there's sugar everywhere, and your mom just asked me what MILF means.
How are you and your magical vagina doing today?
I guess it's part of life. Sometimes your ex boyfriend becomes a drag queen.
Randomize
