Nothing says true friendship like 2 people bonding over potentially having AIDS.
I just used a coupon while buying plan B. The pregnant sales clerk nodded in approval.
I mean its not the first time I passed out drunk at barnes and noble.
i'll just tell him I slept with them both because we needed to compare notes
I'm going to die alone in a sea of empty vodka bottles and cats.
I feel like I wont be making enough money to support my frivilous lifestyle of beer and mcdonalds
The number of males in the usa getting circumsized are decreasing. Keep this in mind when we become cougars
You're wrong. It's my BIRTHDAY. We all know it's impossible to get pregnant on my diva day!
I wish I'd realized he looked like Skrillex before I was already in the middle of fucking him...
Look, sometimes you have to snapchat a topless photo of yourself in the middle of class just to prove you can. I can and I did. End of argument.
Oooo yea. You face planted on my bed but only half your body made it so you noodled onto the floor but kept saying prepare to be murdered which is when you started taking your pants off but stopped at your ankles cause it was too hard
Couldn't finish, so she gave me "the tap," and I had to leave the mound early. Nothing worse than the long walk back after the manager comes out and asks for the ball.
Also, I just opened Google to find the lyrics to California Gurls. Karaoke night did us dirty.
Our orgasm ration was 1:45. No. Fucking. Joke. I thought I was going to die.
She dry humped my leg in the raw while I was still dressed, came, and then fell asleep on top of me. All I got was a bruised thigh. 2020 needs to end.
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