People in love make me want to vomit
Dude, I found out the hard way that she wipes back to front. I ate her out and had to throw up.
i was like hansel and gretel. i puked a trail from mcdonalds to our place so i could find my way back in the morning
When he left he said something to the effect of "well now that I've been used..." I think he may be on to me.
The Vegas crew is in two groups, Team Vodka and Team Fireball. There is no winner in this.
So are you still down for me to come stay with you and just have sex on vicodin all weekend?
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I pulled a muscle last night drunk dirty snapchatting him
Hahahaha .. If it makes you feel better I had a sex dream about a cheeseburger last night so I feel like we both lose.
I lost the right to judge tonight
You are driving me to get new toys, i am test driving them on the way home.
We are taking your truck.
Overall a good night - broke my toe giving that cop a blowjob though...so there's that...
I ate 2 pot cookies before we left the house. Fuck Pokemon. I'm playing my own game.
how do you know everyone's mad at you?
I just woke up feeling shameful
I call bullshit
Call it what ever you want I just need to figure out how to get permanent marker off my cock
I dont know which is weirder.. the fact that i just watched our mom kick ass at beer pong and ride the pole like a true fire girl or the fact that ive never felt closer to her in my life.
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