He kissed my cheek and I could smell it the whole way home like shit
Waiting outside the STD clinic 30 min before it opens already in a line up. It's like were all waiting for a concert that no ones really pumped for
please come over and have sex with me so we can talk about prom and kill 2 birds with one condom
Finally considering to keep my landing strip before I have sex.. I feel like It makes me look mature.
He threw up in a cup in the limo and when he got out the bouncer told him he couldn't bring drinks in so he gave the glass to that dumb girl we brought with us from c street.
I know, she tried to drink it
You pulled me aside and handed me a plastic childrens' tea cup full of 151 and said "trust me its a great idea"
Is it really road head if took place on kayaks in the river?
It was incredible. For as long as I live, I will gladly drop whatever I'm doing and spend a night with her face between my legs ANY time she asks.
I am decidedly straight, but I'll write it into my wedding vows if I have to.
Sockward: that moment during sexytimes when you realize your socks are still on and you have no idea how to remove them in a non-awkward fashion.
All I have in my new place is coke and a treadmill.. it's workout Wednesday
I'm trying. I feel like we're trying to have sex with fruitcake. dry and boring.
i think i just encouraged him to glue googly eyes to my boobs
He said he's going to karaoke tonight and I just spilled a bunch of Cheetos on the floor and ate them all. So that's my night.
And then I was like pick your blow job song and he choose the sonic the hedgehog theme song. If he's not the one no one is.
He's on the porch naked. Help.
Randomize
